tidbits of my life
I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go. But what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.
– Life of Pi
So, the life has been changed a lot for me for the past 1 month. Resignment, moving, get back into training phase, and so on. Sometimes, I still shocked with my decisions. It all happened in such a rush, and I can’t even find my time to say goodbye properly.
It’s really not about money or work environment. The previous company has been really good to me: I’m well-paid and the work is challenging over the time. Moreover, my colleagues in AHM have been like a family to me. I’ve built my small and perfect life there.. So, why move? I can’ even give you the answer.
The comfort of family, friends, lover, and money really could make you forget about your purpose. I remembered, when I was graduated from college, I want to work as a public servant or employee of a state-owned company. I was that idealist. Then, for the sake of experience and benefit, I chose to work on a private company: Astra Honda Motor. I can’t really express my gratitude for being a part of this company. I met lots of people whom then become like a family to me, especially the big family of ITTA 9. Also, my seniors in the work really helpful. They taught me a lot about work, study, and even life. It doesn’t feel like I’ve been in AHM for 2 years and more. It feels like yesterday, really..
Once said that Astra is a great place to learn. I have to tell you that is really true. If I leave the company, it’s not because I got less than what I expected. I got even more. It’s just maybe I’ve got enough from AHM and it’s the time for me to share what I’ve learnt there in some other place.
I don’t know whether my decision is right or wrong. Who knows about that? Even something that feels good today, maybe not good for you in the future. All I can say, it’s like i’ve been called to go to this new place. I still remember last year I told the kids in the Sunday school about Abraham’s story. The moment I crawled and cried in my bed, waiting for the answer, I remembered that story. I started to imagine how Abraham felt when God called him. Maybe he would have thought “Can I find something as good as here in there? How about my family? What if i’m wrong?”.. and so on. All the weary, worry, sadness crawled each other in his mind, and so do i.
But as Abraham obey his call, i also try to search and obey where I’ve been called. I could be wrong, but maybe by being wrong, I can find the truth in another way. Hopefully, it is the best decision not only for me, but also for all the people around me. Every cloud has a silver lining, and I’m now looking for the silver lining of my cloud 🙂
People change. Feelings change. It doesn’t mean that the love once shared wasn’t true or real. It simply means that sometimes when people grow, they grow apart.
– 500 Days of Summer